The gorgeous April Hunter is back with her latest column.

April Hunter — Hunting with April

Updates, Supersized Us, Hunter Ha Ha…

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Sometimes you’re the windshield and sometimes you’re the bug.

Thank you to all who sent me photo shoot ideas for next week!

Movies to Catch: If you’re a free-thinking person, you’d probably enjoy the movie “Religulous” with Bill Maher. It’s very funny in parts and quite entertaining. Love, love, loved “Burn After Reading”. Even better than the previews let on. The Cohen’s rock.

Cool Fan Email of the Week…

“Signed up just a little while ago on your site.
DAMN, April.
You task me, woman! -TD”

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Mail: 9462 Brownsboro Rd #101, L’ville, KY 40241.

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Supersized Us.
I am craving pumpkin pie and have been all week. I just refuse to buy an entire pie. Why do they force us to do that? Why don’t they sell slices? Even a half size would be ok. But no. Everything is GIANT sized. Family sized. Guaranteed “fat ass” sized. What if you don’t have a family, but feel guilty about wasting perfectly good food? What if the rest of your family hates pumpkin pie? There are starving children out there for f*cks sake! We shouldn’t be throwing perfectly good pie away because we (ok, I)lack the self-control to have a normal sized slice after dinner.

It’s no wonder we’re all fat. You can’t even get a normal sized candy bar anymore. Everything is huge. Twix used to have two pieces. Now it’s doubled - much like our asses - to four pieces. Do we really NEED to have four pieces? Looking around, I don’t think so.

The other day I was at the dog park with Le Corgi and there was a guy who was around 350-400 lbs there with his beagle. As his pup hit the crouch, he told everyone there he was “too immobile” to pick up after his own dog’s doo doo. Yet, as I observed him, all he did was chat to a little old lady about reality shows while sipping on a 64-ounce Big Gulp that was balanced on his sausage-like knee.
Should anyone who is not a paid football player or in a Strongman competition ever be 350 lbs?

Big Gulps must be the worst contrived idea ever. Sure, let’s take soda — an evil in itself (the cigarettes of the future), loaded in corn syrup and calories — and give you a SUV sized bucket to fill up. For less money. Brilliant. Bring on the diabetes and heart disease. Kill us at 45. Or just cost us a ton of money to hang in there on expensive medications and *not* die.

Do you realize that heart disease kills more Americans per year than terrorists ever have? Billions upon billions of dollars are being spent on Security, yet barely anything will go towards research and prevention of heart disease, stroke and diabetes.
If  “The only thing you really have is your health” is true, then why does it seem like healthy foods cost so much more than junk food?

So, it’s a matter of making informed decisions. We’re supposed to eat around 1500-2500 calories a day, depending on if you’re a female (less) or male. One Big Gulp is 800 calories. This is half your daily calorie allowance.

(NOTE: You’ll do yourself no favors getting DIET cola either. It still is loaded with corn syrup and aspartame. Aspartame turns into formaldehyde in your liver. Awesome. High Fructose Corn Syrup spikes your glycemic index and drops it lower than when you started, making you tired and craving MORE sweet foods. It also makes your insulin store as middle fat and eventually shut off from being spiked and dropped so much, thus causing Type 2 Diabetes on top of obesity. So, diet sodas are just as bad. HFCS has only been infused in all our processed foods since the 80’s - when they found that corn syrup was cheaper than sugar, kept bread soft longer and frozen items from getting freezer burn - which is precisely when we started to get obese and sick as a nation.)

Losing weight is not rocket science. You simply need to take in less calories than you use per day. Or burn more calories than you use per day.
That’s it.

As long as you stick to that guideline, you’ll drop pounds. The best way to do that is eat clean, unprocessed low fat foods, lean protein and drink water and calorie-free iced teas.
-Use smaller plates and cut your portions by a third to half.
-Chose the “small” version of everything. Saving a few cents if you get the double sized version needs to stop. Immediately. Or, share it.

Get your ass moving. Which gets your metabolism going. Humans were not meant to sit around immobile on computers and couches, snacking. We were hunters and gatherers. Men in particular need to be careful, because the fatter they get, the less testosterone (and more estrogen) they produce. Essentially, they turn womanly.  (On a side note: Erection issues isn’t neccesarily because a man needs Viagra. It could mean he has serious heart or artery problems and should see a doctor asap.)

We need to incorporate the hunter/gatherer back into our lives a bit if we want to be healthy and attractive.
Or “Rubenesque” needs to come back as a sexy look. Which is highly unlikely.

If you have a question about this, email me through my site.
Next week’s newsletter -  fast meal ideas and quickie snacks.
Or join my site and get more tips on getting fit, FAST.

*Hot April Hunter DVD’s! Nude, Wrestling, Movies & more! Autographed & Include free photo! http://www.aprilhunter.com/merchandise/videos/
*Sexy Signed Photos! http://www.aprilhunter.com/merchandise/8×10s/

Mail: 9462 Brownsboro Rd #101, L’ville, KY 40241.

Thank you for reading.

Kisses… April xo
You Can Sleep With A Blonde, You Can Sleep With A Brunette.
But You’ll Never Get Any Sleep With A Redhead!

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This & That…

Note: I don’t have any kind of online messengers at all. If someone you are talking to is claiming to be me, they’re putting you on.

Email: comments@aprilhunter.com
9462 Brownsboro Rd #101, Louisville KY 40241

*Hot April Hunter DVD’s! Nude, Wrestling, Movies & more! Autographed & Include free photo! http://www.aprilhunter.com/merchandise/videos/

*Sexy Signed Photos! http://www.aprilhunter.com/merchandise/8×10s/

Mail: 9462 Brownsboro Rd #101, L’ville, KY 40241. Contact me by email & I’ll send you a paypal request. Simple.

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Hunter Ha Ha…

(Long but good…thx John!)

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a
truck and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

“Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”

“No problem, just let me in,” says the senator.

“Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”

“Really, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,” says the senator.

“I’m sorry, but we have our rules.”

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the  expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and the n dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises ..

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him. “Now it’s time to visit heaven.”

So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

“Well, then, you’ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.”

The senator reflects for a minute, then answers: “Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.”

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he’s in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above…

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. “I don’t understand,” stammers the senator. “Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full
of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?”

The devil looks at him, smiles and says…….

“Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted.”

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