Archive for the ‘The Phantom of the Ring’ Category

THE AWARDS EVEN A MOTHER COULDN’T LOVE: THE 25TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION OF THE PHANNIES

– The Phantom of the Ring

 

Hello again, fellow masochists. And we know you are masochists because you sit at home and watch the dreck that passes for professional wrestling. It’s time for the awards that need no name, because all the names already given it are obscene.

 

I, the Phantom, have been doing this now for 25 years, alone and with partners. Well, I can tell you this will be the final year of the Phannies. Yeah, I know, I said that before, and look what happened. But this time I’m truly played out. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t even watch the product that’s presented each week. We’re down to three promotions in this country (if we count Ring of Honor as a major), and the way things are going, that number may soon shrink to two.

 

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Many thanks to Dr. Mike Lano and The Phantom, who joined forces for this tribute to the late, great Shirley Temple and her wrestler brother George Temple.

– Dr. Mike Lano & The Phantom of the Ring (The Phantom’s comments in italics)

 

“She was way, way bigger than Honey Boo Boo.  But with talent!”

 

And talent Shirley Temple had in excess, from her soles to beyond the top of her famous curls.

 

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THE 2012 PHANNIES: THE SHAME OF A NATION

– The Phantom of the Ring

 

Well, with the Oscars over, and every other award show also history, it’s clearly time for the Phannies, the awards that go to the worst of the worst. And it’s been somewhat of a busy year, with the usual suspects doing their absolute best to embarrass themselves and some new perps to add to the mix. Der Fuehrer has even come out of his bunker in Argentina to help with the awards. So, without further ado, here’s the Phannies.

 

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The Kansas Jayhawk, Bobby Jaggers, RIP

– The Phantom of the Ring

 

Looking back over my years as a wrestling journalist, I can say easily that the greatest years to be a fan in the New York area were during the early 70s. What looked like a decade of disappointment with the dethroning of Bruno Sammartino by Ivan Koloff soon turned into one of the best parades of talent through the area, both in person and on television.

 

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Phantom – Texas Red

September 12th, 2012 1 Comment

Texas Red

– The Phantom of the Ring

 

In all the years I’ve been covering professional wrestling I’ve spoken with many, many folks, both inside and outside the business. And the one thing I always came away with was the fact that no one was immune to a disparaging remark, whether about a wrestler’s professional life (“X was really the shits in the ring”) to his or her personal life (“X was a real bastard outside the ring). Only a rare few have escaped the cattiness that so punctuated these gatherings.

 

One of those was Red Bastien.

 

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Dara Singh – RIP

The Phantom of the Ring

 

“Khud ko Dara Singh samajhta hai kyta?” – You think you are Dara Singh? (A popular taunt in India to deflate someone boasting of his physical prowess.)

 

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The Phantom Examines the Life and Career of Chief Jay Strongbow

– The Phantom of the Ring

 

Injun Joe

 

He appeared without warning in the WWWF during the summer of 1970 and was the freshest thing to hit our corner of the wrestling world in a quite a while. Using the old tried and true pro wrestling gimmick of the Phony Indian he wowed us with his war dance comeback, his judo chops off the rope, and his application of the sleeper hold when the heat was just about at the boiling point. While being rather a neophyte in my knowledge of the pro game, I still knew, having read every wrestling magazine on the stand since 1964, that a new wrestler, especially one the age of the Chief, just did not appear out of thin air. Back checking a few magazines, let’s just say my jaw dropped when I finally figured out who he really was. And I have since learned that I was not alone; several of his former co-workers shared the same complete surprise, especially since, as Mike Mooneyham recently told me, the Chief was on record in the days before he joined the tribe as saying that he would never use a gimmick to get over.

 

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THE 2011 PHANNIES

Presented by Der Fuehrer and The Phantom of the Ring

 

Yes, fans of all things rotten, it’s that time. It’s the season of awards: The Golden Globes, the SAG Awards, The Director’s Guild awards, and, finally, the Oscars. But it’s also the time for The Phannies, the oldest wrestling awards show. (Yes, older than the Slammys.) Unlike the previously mentioned shows, the reader will not be seeing any semblance of taste in these awards. Watch the others if you’re looking for that. Here, the only Golden Globes mentioned are Gail Kim’s implants; the only SAG Award will be the chest of Chris Masters now that he’s off the juice; and the only statues Kane and the Great Khali.

 

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Johnny Barend: The Mouth That Roared

 

– The Phantom of the Ring

 

Consider the following scenario:

 

The year is 1949 and you (yes, you) have just become a professional wrestler. You’ve somehow survived your first match (which, amazingly, you won) and are busy trying to create a personality you can work with in the ring and one that should get you on top eventually.

 

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KKK Was One Tough SOB

 

The Phantom of the Ring

 

In his otherwise useless tome on professional wrestling, academician Michael R. Ball distinguishes between types of heels. One category he defined as the “sonofabitch,” a surly, obnoxious wise ass with a mouth and cheating style to match the attitude. That definition fit Killer Karl Kox to an absolute T.

 

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